








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 25% |
| Smokes | 314 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 381 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,165 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swifty | +1.10 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Chinook | +0.78 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | Briggs | +0.67 | 93 | 27 |
| #4 | CuteBoyThighs | +0.61 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | religion | +0.59 | 89 | 52 |





