










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6106 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5886 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7279 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5685 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,080,272 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smurffiin4 | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | L3de | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Samsuy | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | ᴿäˢäⁿᵉⁿ | 46% | 113 |
| #5 | nikoh | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haramAkhim | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | S4imxn | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | nikoh | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | 76561199544132077 | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Smurffiin4 | 7 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S4imxn | 826 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | vitun komee | 799 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | ᴿäˢäⁿᵉⁿ | 323 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | haramAkhim | 271 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | L3de | 255 | 0.12 | 7 min |





