








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 614 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4752 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3784 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4596 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3328 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,072 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREWANGRY | 55% | 218 |
| #2 | Lusja | 51% | 511 |
| #3 | anton_146 | 50% | 582 |
| #4 | Veiders | 50% | 342 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREWANGRY | 55% | 218 |
| #2 | Lusja | 51% | 511 |
| #3 | anton_146 | 50% | 582 |
| #4 | Veiders | 50% | 342 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anton_146 | 60 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Veiders | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | CREWANGRY | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Lusja | 6 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anton_146 | 1395 | 0.11 | 32 min |
| #2 | CREWANGRY | 959 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #3 | Lusja | 323 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #4 | Veiders | 147 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anton_146 | +1.58 | 52 | 47 |
| #2 | CREWANGRY | +0.84 | 36 | 64 |
| #3 | Lusja | +0.53 | 61 | 45 |
| #4 | Veiders | -0.58 | 33 | 28 |
| #5 | Zemka | -1.27 | 16 | 48 |





