








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10138 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3934 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 7012 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5290 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,716 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 971 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | deveyyy | 48% | 135 |
| #3 | NoelPlink | 45% | 118 |
| #4 | Rocis | 44% | 99 |
| #5 | Tankki | 43% | 99 |
| #6 | ♡E⭕⃤ | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deveyyy | 569 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | ♡E⭕⃤ | 402 | 0.36 | 14 min |
| #3 | Rocis | 372 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | NoelPlink | 351 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tankki | 304 | 0.14 | 7 min |





