








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1562 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1212 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1567 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1381 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,402 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ttheus | 57% | 125 |
| #2 | Farmer Tadek | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Jurand | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | FeZuL | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ttheus | 57% | 125 |
| #2 | Farmer Tadek | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Jurand | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | FeZuL | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ttheus | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | FeZuL | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Jurand | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FeZuL | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | m4ttheus | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Farmer Tadek | 150 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jurand | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 109 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ttheus | +1.40 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | FeZuL | +1.35 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | Jurand | +0.60 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Farmer Tadek | +0.38 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | -0.16 | 55 | 71 |





