








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 336 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3954 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3662 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3593 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,057 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farmer Tadek | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | m4ttheus | 54% | 291 |
| #3 | Jurand | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Giego | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farmer Tadek | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | m4ttheus | 54% | 291 |
| #3 | Jurand | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Giego | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jurand | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | m4ttheus | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ttheus | 450 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | Farmer Tadek | 258 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Giego | 206 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jurand | 143 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FeZuL | +0.55 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | Farmer Tadek | +0.26 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | m4ttheus | +0.23 | 88 | 55 |
| #4 | Jurand | +0.09 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | ♕finixeR_ ✌ | -0.53 | 56 | 72 |





