








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 355 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6785 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3670 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4059 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2080 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,255,793 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerald Ganda | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | Gumi | 57% | 134 |
| #3 | Giego | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | FeZuL | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | 53% | 288 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Klefonidas | 48% | 251 |
| #10 | TomaszKocur2009PL420THC | 46% | 46 |
| #11 | FD God | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | John Wick | 43% | 70 |
| #13 | Guido | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | 32 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Klefonidas | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | FD God | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | TomaszKocur2009PL420THC | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Patrick Texas | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | 1089 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Klefonidas | 559 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gerald Ganda | 483 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #4 | Gumi | 308 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Patrick Texas | 283 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | يمارس الجنس مع ال | +1.71 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | FeZuL | +1.51 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Gumi | +1.44 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | m4ttheus | +1.33 | 88 | 52 |
| #5 | Gerald Ganda | +1.12 | 63 | 63 |





