








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4640 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4843 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4796 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3779 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,734 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamGoHam | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Phaeism | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | 55% | 141 |
| #4 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | Xertion Peek | 48% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | Xertion Peek | 48% | 139 |
| #6 | Обунга | 47% | 219 |
| #7 | phile2k | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | Dozy | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Phaeism | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Обунга | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | phile2k | 6 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Обунга | 793 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | 457 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Xertion Peek | 444 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 368 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Phaeism | 138 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | +3.74 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Phaeism | +0.80 | 69 | 37 |
| #3 | ♿ GAMING™ © | +0.47 | 33 | 59 |
| #4 | Обунга | +0.00 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | SamGoHam | -0.04 | 58 | 33 |





