








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2633 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2361 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2638 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,948 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Backsta | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | FEVZsix | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Malachi | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | Обунга | 49% | 181 |
| #5 | phefphef | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Обунга | 49% | 181 |
| #5 | phefphef | 49% | 70 |
| #6 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 48% | 126 |
| #7 | phile2k | 43% | 60 |
| #8 | Good Christian WhiteBoy | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Обунга | 18 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | phile2k | 12 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Malachi | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Good Christian WhiteBoy | 5 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Обунга | 669 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 441 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Malachi | 223 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | phefphef | 215 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | phile2k | 172 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ GAMING™ © | +1.42 | 35 | 63 |
| #2 | FEVZsix | +1.29 | 50 | 19 |
| #3 | Good Christian WhiteBoy | +0.59 | 82 | 38 |
| #4 | Phaeism | +0.19 | 64 | 41 |
| #5 | Malachi | +0.03 | 42 | 43 |





