








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2523 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5969 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4150 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4592 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,559,333 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 681 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaDinkster | 67% | 309 |
| #2 | Beamturtle | 61% | 126 |
| #3 | Deerflipper | 61% | 321 |
| #4 | gooner | 61% | 69 |
| #5 | mark | 60% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deerflipper | 48 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Slitherman | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | DaDinkster | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Beamturtle | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | mark | 6 | 0.0019 |





