








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11396 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3666 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 9062 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7594 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,393,253 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaDinkster | 60% | 371 |
| #2 | Acticn | 59% | 341 |
| #3 | Beamturtle | 54% | 171 |
| #4 | mark | 54% | 221 |
| #5 | Deerflipper | 53% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaDinkster | 648 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | Acticn | 422 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Deerflipper | 390 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | mark | 223 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mog Maxxing Gooner | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |





