








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1986 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2975 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,772 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | 53% | 143 |
| #2 | Virezki | 51% | 239 |
| #3 | stop | 50% | 150 |
| #4 | jano | 49% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | 53% | 143 |
| #2 | Virezki | 51% | 239 |
| #3 | stop | 50% | 150 |
| #4 | jano | 49% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virezki | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | jano | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | stop | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virezki | 811 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | 490 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | stop | 417 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | jano | 147 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | +1.72 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | jano | +0.36 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | Mazrik | -0.21 | 54 | 68 |
| #4 | Virezki | -0.69 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | stop | -1.44 | 54 | 59 |





