








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5750 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4194 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6200 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2859 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,715,406 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mazrik | 51% | 239 |
| #4 | stop | 51% | 173 |
| #5 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | 51% | 124 |
| #6 | ekimeister | 49% | 106 |
| #7 | jano | 47% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stop | 425 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | E-urheilu☂Aqua | 398 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Mazrik | 353 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | ekimeister | 204 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | jano | 127 | 0.04 | 4 min |





