










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4536 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6289 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7309 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2896 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,859,745 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 791 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTzPain95 | 70% | 61 |
| #2 | Alfred | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | DyN4MiiC | 67% | 73 |
| #4 | Passi | 67% | 109 |
| #5 | DreamLive | 62% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Passi | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 𝔽𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕪𝕩 | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | DreamLive | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | DyN4MiiC | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | fuNy# | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DreamLive | 356 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Passi | 291 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Alfred | 284 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #4 | #RBZB! YoGurT | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | iTzPain95 | 251 | 0.20 | 7 min |





