








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1158 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 917 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,791 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunar | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Ouppy want a bone | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Yuki <3 | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | ꕥ blossom ✧˚ · . | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ꕥ blossom ✧˚ · . | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 44% | 70 |
| #6 | Katarina | 40% | 68 |
| #7 | JDough | 29% | 17 |
| #8 | Woofer | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouppy want a bone | 15 | 0.0351 |
| #2 | Katarina | 13 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ꕥ blossom ✧˚ · . | 8 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | JDough | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 326 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Katarina | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yuki <3 | 67 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lunar | 65 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ouppy want a bone | 43 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katarina | +4.46 | 61 | 48 |
| #2 | Yuki <3 | +4.40 | 47 | 63 |
| #3 | Lunar | +3.91 | 68 | 37 |
| #4 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | +2.58 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | Ouppy want a bone | +2.51 | 74 | 23 |





