








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1884 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1800 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1273 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1247 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,106 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peppe30k | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Pennanenn | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Möyrymaha | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | SiistiKuuSusi | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | muzolf | 54% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pennanenn | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Möyrymaha | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | SiistiKuuSusi | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | muzolf | 54% | 99 |
| #6 | jørTTøni | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pennanenn | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | SiistiKuuSusi | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | muzolf | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Möyrymaha | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muzolf | 201 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | SiistiKuuSusi | 133 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pennanenn | 114 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Möyrymaha | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Peppe30k | 51 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muzolf | +3.16 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | Peppe30k | +2.44 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | Möyrymaha | +0.13 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | Pennanenn | +0.09 | 70 | 52 |
| #5 | Dankkoviz | -0.54 | 67 | 55 |





