








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1984 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1779 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2895 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,825 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pennanenn | 52% | 230 |
| #6 | SiistiKuuSusi | 50% | 187 |
| #7 | Peppe30k | 49% | 106 |
| #8 | muzolf | 49% | 184 |
| #9 | RuNTu | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SiistiKuuSusi | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Pennanenn | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | muzolf | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Harri Balsac | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Dankkoviz | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peppe30k | 495 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | SiistiKuuSusi | 466 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Pennanenn | 423 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | muzolf | 352 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Harri Balsac | 129 | 0.09 | 4 min |





