








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 29% |
| Smokes | 280 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 359 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 291 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,867 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laars84 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | sepan | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | alo | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | LΓΈkka | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laars84 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | sepan | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | alo | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | LΓΈkka | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepan | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | alo | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | LΓΈkka | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepan | 177 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | alo | 72 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | LΓΈkka | 66 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Laars84 | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laars84 | +3.37 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | π΄ββ οΈπ | +0.89 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | sepan | +0.35 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | LΓΈkka | +0.19 | 79 | 75 |
| #5 | alo | -0.98 | 44 | 62 |





