








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1843 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2367 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2434 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $957,916 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambo-Ramon-Rainer | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Hackbrett Schorsch | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | GreenEddy | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | QuieT... | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -prYbe | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Stiff_TV | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | QuieT... | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | ✪ Lame | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | nicodemus | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 278 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | -prYbe | 219 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 202 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hackbrett Schorsch | 99 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | nicodemus | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hackbrett Schorsch | +3.53 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | GreenEddy | +3.49 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | Rambo-Ramon-Rainer | +3.31 | 54 | 70 |
| #4 | ✪ Lame | +2.77 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | QuieT... | +2.17 | 70 | 70 |





