








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 933 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 171 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3020 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6989 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6882 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5775 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,601,844 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 47% | 208 |
| #2 | QuieT... | 46% | 70 |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 45% | 66 |
| #4 | -prYbe | 40% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 47% | 208 |
| #2 | QuieT... | 46% | 70 |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 45% | 66 |
| #4 | -prYbe | 40% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -prYbe | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | QuieT... | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 299 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪ Lame | 184 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | -prYbe | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | QuieT... | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lame | +1.91 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | QuieT... | +1.64 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | nicodemus | +0.56 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | -0.67 | 47 | 67 |
| #5 | -prYbe | -2.21 | 42 | 68 |





