








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 250 matches | 1,759 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1184 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1493 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1543 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,684,155 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tazi ♛ ✂ | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Valp3n | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | kumbaya my lord | 59% | 49 |
| #4 | brordjur | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | Janne | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tazi ♛ ✂ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | KarlRex | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | vendela | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kumbaya my lord | 246 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | brordjur | 151 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Janne | 128 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | tazi ♛ ✂ | 83 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | vendela | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kumbaya my lord | +10.38 | 96 | 73 |
| #2 | Valp3n | +3.63 | 79 | 49 |
| #3 | ✪MiniPrutt♥ | +1.75 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | melonhead | +1.46 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | brordjur | +0.42 | 41 | 76 |





