








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2032 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 368 matches | 1,771 | |
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9441 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7727 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4601 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6767 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,862 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 787 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Priivateclown | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Lily ♡ | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | tazi ♛ ✂ | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Priivateclown | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Lily ♡ | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | tazi ♛ ✂ | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lily ♡ | 178 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | tazi ♛ ✂ | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Priivateclown | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brordjur | -0.47 | 60 | 77 |
| #2 | Lily ♡ | -0.50 | 56 | 78 |
| #3 | Priivateclown | -1.57 | 40 | 55 |
| #4 | tazi ♛ ✂ | -2.89 | 38 | 63 |





