








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4057 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3718 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1258 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,394 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawg | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | Sus Shiber* | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | koz | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | Moss | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | meow thing | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawg | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | Sus Shiber* | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | koz | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | Moss | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | meow thing | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawg | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | koz | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Sus Shiber* | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sus Shiber* | 267 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dawg | 127 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | koz | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | meow thing | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moss | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sus Shiber* | +2.64 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Click | +0.27 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | koz | +0.17 | 70 | 48 |
| #4 | Dawg | +0.00 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | meow thing | -0.98 | 76 | 51 |





