








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 647 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3189 | 36% |
| Smokes | 952 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1999 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2688 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,128 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESL Elias | 21 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Isabelle | 20 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | suveq | 14 | 0.0175 |
| #4 | Hog Rider | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | asdf | 3 | 0.0017 |





