








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19911 | 50% |
| Smokes | 6044 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 7324 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6621 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,062,187 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isabelle | 49% | 78 |
| #2 | ESL Elias | 47% | 491 |
| #3 | Dick.Kickem | 43% | 86 |
| #4 | Hog Rider | 42% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isabelle | 49% | 78 |
| #2 | ESL Elias | 47% | 491 |
| #3 | Dick.Kickem | 43% | 86 |
| #4 | Hog Rider | 42% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESL Elias | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Isabelle | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Hog Rider | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Dick.Kickem | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESL Elias | 2585 | 0.25 | 61 min |
| #2 | Isabelle | 235 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dick.Kickem | 189 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hog Rider | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESL Elias | +2.10 | 55 | 59 |
| #2 | Isabelle | +0.73 | 61 | 32 |
| #3 | asdf | +0.40 | 57 | 49 |
| #4 | Dick.Kickem | -2.38 | 29 | 33 |
| #5 | Hog Rider | -3.32 | 27 | 31 |





