








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 604 | 6% |
| Smokes | 3888 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2407 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2448 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,893 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SHOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRRRRTTT | 55% | 163 |
| #4 | Atone | 53% | 217 |
| #5 | PewPew Inna Babylon | 53% | 70 |
| #6 | herediax | 49% | 259 |
| #7 | atrax | 48% | 165 |





