








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 842 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 361 matches | ||
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9856 | 23% |
| Smokes | 12034 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11373 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 9979 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,577 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4314 | 56% | 68 |
| #2 | Hopsal | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | Duranga !! | 52% | 106 |
| #4 | Asas1ne | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | Finn Shelby | 48% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Asas1ne | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | Finn Shelby | 48% | 192 |
| #6 | Arthur | 48% | 224 |
| #7 | BottomG | 48% | 82 |
| #8 | chr1stopheer | 46% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1stopheer | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Arthur | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Hopsal | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Finn Shelby | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Duranga !! | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1stopheer | 796 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #2 | Duranga !! | 549 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #3 | Finn Shelby | 470 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Arthur | 283 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | Asas1ne | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duranga !! | +1.43 | 39 | 86 |
| #2 | Asas1ne | +1.23 | 64 | 66 |
| #3 | Finn Shelby | +0.97 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | 4314 | +0.68 | 73 | 45 |
| #5 | Hopsal | +0.29 | 57 | 64 |





