








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 604 matches | ||
| Renown | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 264 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8201 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10548 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11873 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7029 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,035 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asas1ne | 52% | 305 |
| #2 | Maj.Winters | 52% | 106 |
| #3 | Hopsal | 51% | 466 |
| #4 | BottomG | 49% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asas1ne | 52% | 305 |
| #2 | Maj.Winters | 52% | 106 |
| #3 | Hopsal | 51% | 466 |
| #4 | BottomG | 49% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopsal | 52 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Asas1ne | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | BottomG | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Maj.Winters | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopsal | 825 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #2 | Asas1ne | 663 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | BottomG | 352 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Maj.Winters | 297 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duranga !! | +1.67 | 39 | 85 |
| #2 | Maj.Winters | +0.74 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | Asas1ne | +0.23 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | Hopsal | -0.49 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | BottomG | -2.12 | 33 | 60 |





