








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3504 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2564 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1741 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2096 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,633 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 71% | 42 |
| #2 | mange | 66% | 50 |
| #3 | junnyNaz | 64% | 55 |
| #4 | *<|:þ kuddi | 56% | 66 |
| #5 | Bongwater Brian | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | junnyNaz | 64% | 55 |
| #4 | *<|:þ kuddi | 56% | 66 |
| #5 | Bongwater Brian | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Special K | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | G3VA | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mange | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | G3VA | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | junnyNaz | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Special K | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | *<|:þ kuddi | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *<|:þ kuddi | 186 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | mange | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | junnyNaz | 125 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bongwater Brian | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongwater Brian | +3.95 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | junnyNaz | +3.10 | 74 | 52 |
| #3 | *<|:þ kuddi | +2.40 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | mange | +1.30 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | ✪ Leifssson™ | +0.53 | 72 | 51 |





