








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 30% |
| Smokes | 109 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 101 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 124 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,637 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grilliporo | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | skuul | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | NaystyX | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Sorrow | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | SamSam | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizzu | 4 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | NaystyX | 3 | 0.0229 |
| #3 | HEz | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Alejandro | 2 | 0.0244 |
| #5 | Sorrow | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizzu | 25 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | NaystyX | 19 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | HEz | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Alejandro | 13 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | ED | 12 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaystyX | +5.43 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | Tuidi | +3.46 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Mizzu | +2.90 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | ED | +2.17 | 73 | 39 |
| #5 | Alejandro | +1.80 | 77 | 60 |





