








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2069 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,817 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2997 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2489 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2665 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1849 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,850 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An7za | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Petukka | 56% | 163 |
| #3 | Valtteri Valkoinen | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | Spurdo Sparde | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | OsRe | 51% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An7za | 10 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | Valtteri Valkoinen | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Petukka | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | OsRe | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Spurdo Sparde | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valtteri Valkoinen | 486 | 0.35 | 12 min |
| #2 | OsRe | 299 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Petukka | 293 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | An7za | 122 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spurdo Sparde | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |





