








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3254 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2592 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3213 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2536 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,036 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kall | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Spurdo Sparde | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Valtteri Valkoinen | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | Petukka | 53% | 161 |
| #5 | Erik | 51% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erik | 631 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Valtteri Valkoinen | 390 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #3 | Petukka | 329 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sinister | 92 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Spurdo Sparde | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erik | +5.80 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | OsRe | +0.67 | 60 | 72 |
| #3 | Kall | -0.62 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | Sinister | -1.93 | 24 | 57 |
| #5 | Petukka | -2.02 | 29 | 53 |





