








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3861 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1876 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3379 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1535 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,649 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 叫んだ | 47% | 49 |
| #10 | Shiro | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | Atheros | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | SendPie | 42% | 36 |
| #13 | ALICIA MELCHIOTT | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Shiro | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | GAMMA | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Hibike! re1na | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Skadi | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 212 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Shiro | 118 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | 叫んだ | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hibike! re1na | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | CieL | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |





