








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3087 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1151 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1496 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,627 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AubsTheStrawbs | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | filip | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Fragon | 64% | 89 |
| #4 | Blue Yetti | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | Hop | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | dartman | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | Wu-Tang Clang | 47% | 64 |
| #11 | Greta Thunberg | 44% | 16 |
| #12 | Jordan | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | jk | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | ajaws1 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Hop | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Greta Thunberg | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Wu-Tang Clang | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | 318 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Blue Yetti | 166 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | ajaws1 | 124 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hop | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | filip | 110 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue Yetti | +2.30 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | Fragon | +2.06 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | ajaws1 | +1.83 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | deKxi | +1.00 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | filip | +0.95 | 66 | 68 |





