








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 865 matches | ||
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10182 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5458 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5940 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5083 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,660,978 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | filip | 57% | 303 |
| #2 | ajaws1 | 56% | 96 |
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | 51% | 495 |
| #4 | Dietzson Watson | 48% | 237 |
| #5 | BUZZ | 48% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BUZZ | 48% | 145 |
| #6 | dartman | 47% | 565 |
| #7 | deKxi | 47% | 64 |
| #8 | Kanye East | 46% | 343 |
| #9 | DJ Chef Shur | 45% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dartman | 28 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | DJ Chef Shur | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ajaws1 | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | filip | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | BUZZ | 11 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye East | 1684 | 0.23 | 41 min |
| #2 | filip | 1584 | 0.25 | 44 min |
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | 914 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #4 | Dietzson Watson | 474 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | deKxi | 237 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | filip | +2.14 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | ajaws1 | +1.85 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | +0.92 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Wu-Tang Clang | +0.80 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | BUZZ | +0.73 | 66 | 48 |





