










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 904 | 42% |
| Smokes | 527 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 38 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,287 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeBlow | 43% | 23 |
| #2 | Depooty | 40% | 25 |
| #3 | Abaddonbbx | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | not kate i swear | 33% | 42 |
| #5 | tru | 33% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Abaddonbbx | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | not kate i swear | 33% | 42 |
| #5 | tru | 33% | 55 |
| #6 | Shroud Jr | 30% | 10 |
| #7 | Perkaderk | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroud Jr | 4 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | not kate i swear | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Depooty | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | JoeBlow | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | tru | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not kate i swear | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Depooty | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | tru | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | JoeBlow | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shroud Jr | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeBlow | +2.09 | 34 | 43 |
| #2 | Abaddonbbx | +1.95 | 61 | 22 |
| #3 | tru | +1.54 | 56 | 40 |
| #4 | Shroud Jr | +0.92 | 42 | 62 |
| #5 | not kate i swear | +0.76 | 63 | 59 |





