








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 735 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1424 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1645 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,774 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuhoDomba | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Smule?! | 60% | 88 |
| #3 | Miisu | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Jarkko | 55% | 164 |
| #5 | äggvatkare | 55% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Miisu | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Jarkko | 55% | 164 |
| #5 | äggvatkare | 55% | 181 |
| #6 | xd | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | bin laden dolby digital ⛴ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miisu | 11 | 0.0337 |
| #2 | Jarkko | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Smule?! | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | äggvatkare | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TuhoDomba | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | äggvatkare | 560 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jarkko | 282 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Smule?! | 194 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | TuhoDomba | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Miisu | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bin laden dolby digital ⛴ | +3.75 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | Jarkko | +2.50 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Smule?! | +1.55 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | xd | +0.89 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | TuhoDomba | -0.28 | 78 | 49 |





