








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1220 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1686 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1148 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1363 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,795 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeWa | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Koutsi Kari | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | ✪ gull1 | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | Smule?! | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Leiwen | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗔𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 Glazomer | 8 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | LeWa | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | ✪ gull1 | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Jarkko | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | punainen kissa | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | äggvatkare | 206 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | 𝗔𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 Glazomer | 141 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ gull1 | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | punainen kissa | 89 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jarkko | 79 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarkko | +3.80 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | punainen kissa | +1.96 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | 𝗔𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 Glazomer | +1.15 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | TuhoDomba | +0.50 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | äggvatkare | -0.33 | 52 | 62 |





