








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5436 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4171 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3708 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2538 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,069,250 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeWa | 55% | 181 |
| #2 | Smule?! | 55% | 152 |
| #3 | Miisu | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Jarkko | 50% | 321 |
| #5 | TuhoDomba | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Smule?! | 55% | 152 |
| #3 | Miisu | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Jarkko | 50% | 321 |
| #5 | TuhoDomba | 47% | 75 |
| #6 | bin laden dolby digital ⛴ | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarkko | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | LeWa | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Smule?! | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Miisu | 7 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | TuhoDomba | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarkko | 542 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | Smule?! | 324 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | LeWa | 171 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | TuhoDomba | 112 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Miisu | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bin laden dolby digital ⛴ | +3.29 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Jarkko | +2.46 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Smule?! | +1.39 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | TuhoDomba | -0.85 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | LeWa | -1.08 | 30 | 46 |





