








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 28% |
| Smokes | 628 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 204 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,023 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | makaXalbarnXreal | 59% | 34 |
| #9 | Nox | 57% | 7 |
| #10 | Denver Nuggets Jeans | 55% | 22 |
| #11 | ling ling | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | jvne | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gallowsCalibrator | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | makaXalbarnXreal | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | vueko! | 3 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | jvne | 3 | 0.0309 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | 197 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✈johnny airplane✈ | 70 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | makaXalbarnXreal | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | gallowsCalibrator | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Denver Nuggets Jeans | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✈johnny airplane✈ | +6.87 | 65 | 67 |
| #2 | ling ling | +4.02 | 53 | 59 |
| #3 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | +3.49 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | Homeslice | +2.19 | 78 | 45 |
| #5 | vueko! | +1.16 | 52 | 42 |





