








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2157 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2855 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2541 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,822 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sammmmmmyyyyyyyyy | 54% | 93 |
| #7 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | 52% | 165 |
| #8 | Denver Nuggets Jeans | 49% | 100 |
| #9 | mongr3l | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | makaXalbarnXreal | 42% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makaXalbarnXreal | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | vueko! | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | sammmmmmyyyyyyyyy | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Denver Nuggets Jeans | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | 714 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | makaXalbarnXreal | 229 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | mongr3l | 136 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | vueko! | 121 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Denver Nuggets Jeans | 120 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✈johnny airplane✈ | +6.00 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | fallenfalcopivotjabAKAfallenedit | +4.34 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | Homeslice | +2.96 | 86 | 45 |
| #4 | vueko! | +0.93 | 46 | 29 |
| #5 | Denver Nuggets Jeans | +0.35 | 54 | 29 |





