








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1639 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1088 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1159 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,727 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl Ess | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Patchnote luc | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Mariolin | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | Lemone | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | KeyRox | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mariolin | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | Lemone | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | KeyRox | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | Sul1 | 39% | 80 |
| #7 | R A Y N O -iwnl- | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sul1 | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Mariolin | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | KeyRox | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | R A Y N O -iwnl- | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Karl Ess | 2 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mariolin | 305 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sul1 | 160 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | KeyRox | 150 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | R A Y N O -iwnl- | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Karl Ess | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemone | +2.26 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | Patchnote luc | +0.62 | 36 | 48 |
| #3 | Mariolin | +0.47 | 62 | 70 |
| #4 | GungiGangu | +0.35 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | Sul1 | -0.21 | 68 | 47 |





