








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 520 | 35% |
| Smokes | 306 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 344 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 326 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,355 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Drip999 | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Gooba? | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Swiazy | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Drip999 | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Gooba? | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Swiazy | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 5 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Drip999 | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Connor | 22 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Swiazy | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adr_hendricks | +6.15 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Gooba? | +3.89 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Connor | +3.65 | 56 | 27 |
| #4 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | -0.14 | 31 | 46 |
| #5 | Swiazy | -2.66 | 56 | 5 |





