








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 8% |
| Smokes | 762 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1275 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,337 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | Lee | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | slavicbaddie | 26% | 53 |
| #9 | Console ツ | 26% | 19 |
| #10 | Kaustinen | 25% | 12 |





