








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1046 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1243 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 975 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,175 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yokee | 68% | 40 |
| #4 | 0verF3ll | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | fleurbb | 63% | 24 |
| #6 | CqFD_ | 58% | 24 |
| #7 | 𝙅𝙚𝙭 ♛ | 8% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0verF3ll | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | fleurbb | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | yokee | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | CqFD_ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0verF3ll | 159 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | yokee | 152 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | fleurbb | 132 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | CqFD_ | 74 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝙅𝙚𝙭 ♛ | 64 | 0.23 | 2 min |





