








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 520 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7798 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6607 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3624 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4064 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,942,926 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I BURN ALL I WANT | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | JULIO | 63% | 78 |
| #3 | yokee | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Madderose | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | vaewia | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I BURN ALL I WANT | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | JULIO | 63% | 78 |
| #3 | yokee | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Madderose | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | vaewia | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaewia | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | JULIO | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | I BURN ALL I WANT | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | yokee | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JULIO | 657 | 0.37 | 17 min |
| #2 | Madderose | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | vaewia | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | yokee | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | I BURN ALL I WANT | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0verF3ll | +1.96 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | yokee | +1.75 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | JULIO | +1.04 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | Madderose | +0.59 | 57 | 67 |
| #5 | vaewia | -0.66 | 77 | 48 |





