








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1406 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1209 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2055 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,416 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menchu | 50% | 64 |
| #2 | FireFerret | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | dvlop | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | NiTroX | 46% | 82 |
| #5 | Xeniqs | 43% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireFerret | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Xeniqs | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | dvlop | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Menchu | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Mr Q | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeniqs | 303 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | dvlop | 234 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | NiTroX | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | TOX6X | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | FireFerret | 113 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeniqs | +2.53 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | Menchu | +2.04 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | FireFerret | +1.82 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | dvlop | +1.39 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Mr Q | -1.80 | 62 | 53 |





