








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3555 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4182 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5959 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4760 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,547 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menchu | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | dvlop | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Xeniqs | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | NiTroX | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | TOX6X | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeniqs | 611 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | dvlop | 600 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Menchu | 357 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | TOX6X | 305 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | NiTroX | 231 | 0.06 | 6 min |





