








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6344 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4581 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4191 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6133 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,115 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireFerret | 49% | 316 |
| #2 | dvlop | 46% | 275 |
| #3 | Menchu | 46% | 200 |
| #4 | NiTroX | 46% | 268 |
| #5 | jef123 | 43% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireFerret | 24 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Menchu | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | dvlop | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | jef123 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | NiTroX | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dvlop | 746 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | TOX6X | 380 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | FireFerret | 370 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | NiTroX | 350 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | Menchu | 335 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeniqs | +1.45 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | FireFerret | +1.38 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Menchu | +1.26 | 89 | 58 |
| #4 | dvlop | +0.17 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | Mr Q | -1.76 | 62 | 48 |





