








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 286 | 17% |
| Smokes | 438 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 456 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 495 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,982 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godofkel | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Phenic | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Wayslowworm | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | BMeister | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | Orthon | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayslowworm | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Godofkel | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Imran | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Orthon | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayslowworm | 145 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Godofkel | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Phenic | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | BMeister | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Imran | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godofkel | +1.91 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | BMeister | +1.40 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | Phenic | +0.03 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | Orthon | -0.16 | 74 | 47 |
| #5 | AG | -0.17 | 81 | 47 |





